Time

Time flies. Understatement. It is more light speed or faster. Only when it controls our lives. How do we disengage from the race. It is entirely up to you. What works for some, might work for you. The choice is yours. Do something for yourself you were told was just the most selfish thing anyone could do. Let go of the guilt. It's bad enough we let others make us feel guilty and then buying into it ourselves. As for me, I'm tired of buying into it and letting others make me feel guilty. It is a conscious effort. I can truly say I am winning the war, losing very few battles. I love the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Make an effort to quit giving your consent.

Create

Create. Say this word to some people and see them break into a sweat. When we think of create, it is either of art or writing or crafts. All of us create. The minute we wake up each day we create. When we sleep at night we create. We are creating the world we live in. We create how we think of our world. We create what happens to us. We create how we deal with situations. Yes, there are people whose creativity bone is off the charts. We cannot deny that every human being creates, it is just a matter of what level.

Support

It's amazing how much crap we can put up with. I'm not sure if it is a sign of strength or just to damn tired to fight it. Why don't we say anything. My excuse is its worse than putting up with the crap. I am not listened to and everything gets turned around to make it my fault. So the problem is pushed away, only for it to resurface later. The way to handle is build yourself up. You are the only one who cares enough for you. Be your best supporter. Know that it is not wrong to love/like you.

Fire

Campfire, bonfire, fireplace. Any type that lets me sit there and watch the flames dance. I really need to sit by a fire when life gets a little rough. Watching the flames is like watching every stress burn up. It is so relaxing. Clears the mind. We have a fire ring in our front yard. We have a fire almost every night during the summer. Now that doesn't mean life is that stressful, just is relaxing.

Coyotes

Last night was the closest the coyotes have been. It was amazing. Coyotes really don't howl. It was alot of yipping and a sound that is very hard to describe. In my reading about women homesteaders, they have described hearing coyotes. These women of course would tend to be very religious. One woman described it as sounding like the gates of hell opened and demons escaped. At first in was a little frightening because I was sleeping. It sounded just unreal. The second time I was awake and it was still unbelievable. In the two times I heard them, only once each time sounded like a howl. They were right across the highway in a pasture. We were listening to the birds as we fell asleep and it sounded like we were in Africa. It is such a rush to listen to all the sounds. We used to have cattle. When we were calving, I had the graveyard shift. I would hear the coyotes, but they sounded farther away. Last night I was glad I wasn't in a tar paper shanty.

Pressure

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves. We can't do or be everything to everyone. There is only one me. It is not possible to be everywhere. Let it go. Life goes on whether we are there or not. Let go of the guilt. Guilt is just a way for others to make themselves feel better. Guilt serves no purpose. Walk away from the guilt ridden statements. We have a life to live.

Agave

I have been reading all the updates on Agave. What the kicker though is this, one site puts down Agave, yet promotes their product of tanning beds. What the hell! It has been proven that tanning beds aren't good for you and this doctor is promoting this. How about telling people to get outside. Totally lost my faith is reading his articles or even considering ordering anything from his website. Be informed! Make your own decisions. It is your life. Follow up on anything. Know that one source of information is not in your best interests. I have used Agave and Stevia. I like both. I also look deep into which company I purchase from. Yes, it may take awhile to gather my info, but it is well worth my time. Well informed decisions are the easiest to make. I am not going to promote any companies. You might have done your research and found your favorites.

It's Raining

When we think of rain, we think cleansing, rejuvenating and fresh. We think of raining in our soul, we think dark, sad and depressing. It's time to change this paradigm. Granted the darkness of the soul is more intense. Usually, we come out the other side much better because of the journey. We learn valuable lessons about ourselves while in the "dark side". Is it because we hear it is a dark journey, we put a label on it? I have been in the dark side where I needed help to get out. Why can't we get help? Why is there such a stigma associated with getting help?

Drained

I felt so emotionally drained tonight. I have felt this way before but tonight was different. I was aware of the feeling and what it was doing to me. It difficult to get it in check. I think I have done it though. I started by examining what I was going through. It was only then I was able to change my thinking.

Star Trek: TNG

I loved Data. His character was great. I wanted to be just like him. No emotions. I could imagine it. No one could insult me because I wouldn't understand. Personal problems: what are those? Absolutely stellar is what it would be. On certain days, I wondered why he even wanted to try to become more"human". Back when the show was on, I wondered that a lot. Days weren't overly fantastic. Now that I am coming out of a fog, I can slightly understand. The good feelings are worth it.

Concern

I am concerned. I wonder if people really listen to themselves. Or do we listen and believe everything we are told? We cannot say we are information illiterate. The Web provides enough info to last a lifetime. The trick is sifting through all the gunk. You need to believe in something or you'll fall for anything. Find what you believe. Gather all the information you need. Make a decision. Freeing isn't it.

The Cellist of Sarajevo

Good book. It tracks the lives of 4 characters and intertwines their lives. While the book starts out as an all hope is lost. There is hope regained in various ways in the end. While it probably isn't the hope we expect, it is still hope. Hope takes many different guises. We need to except it when it comes.

Self Centered

When did being self centered become a bad thing? Self centered should mean: being aware of self, assured of yourself, confidence, knowing who you are. It should not mean selfish and arrogant. Jealousy has a lot to do with the change in meaning. We can't bring ourselves to be happy for someone else. Why? They are doing better than me! That is because of their self assuredness. Why do we feel the need to bring others down? Jealousy is your answer. Acceptance of yourself is the key that unlocks the cage. While the answer is simple, practice of it might be daunting. It really is a matter of changing thought patterns.

Acceptance

I tried to hard. Why do we bend over backwards to try and kiss our own ass just to make someone like and accept us. What's worse is, we realize what's going own and try to change but end up going back to the way we were. How do you change? I know we've heard all the babble before. How about a way that doesn't make us feel guilty. First thing I learned was, leave religion out of it. I don't mean God, I mean religion. Religion has a was of twisting everything to its advantage. How else to you control people but by guilt and fear. Listen to your heart and head. Try to forget a lot of the stuff you have been taught. You will be surprise at how you grow when you give yourself permission to be yourself. If you can't remember what feeling like yourself is, it is not as lost as you have been lead to believe. You are there just under all the gunk and muck. I am not going to tell you it is an easy fix. It is a daily reminder you give yourself. What I tell myself is, if people don't like me it's not my fault. I can't control others. I gave that up. Some days it's difficult. Old habits are hard to break. The results are so worth it. I feel so much better. I have energy. I feel lighter. The point is, I am becoming me.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

What a load of garbage. The start of the book is basically an autobiography--boring. Who cares if starlets want to seduce you to be in movies. Whoopee! The story is maddening because the author interrupts it every time the story gets slightly interesting. The ending never happened. What a waste of money, time and effort. I am embarrassed that we, the public get sucked into sludge like this.